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So there we all were at the Bridge, we'd only come to see the Arsenal and of course to pay our fondest respects to a player we never got to wish farewell and bon voyage last season. ‘You can stick your Russian mobiles up your arse' ‘When the Russian goes to prison you'll be fecked'. ‘Where were you when you were sh*t'. ‘Ashley Cole is a…….' It was noisy at the Bridge and extremely so when their number three was announced.
The Chavs kicked off towards the travelling Gooners and Cesc was immediately doing brilliantly as the early pressure came from Arsenal who were wearing all red socks for a change. Only a couple of long balls saw the Chavs make it into our half early doors. Great ball Eboue to Hleb. Drogba offside and moaning at the lino, its what he does best – moaning at the lino. ‘And it's Arsenal, Arsenal FC, they're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen' ‘Shall we sing a song for you?' A smattering of early free kicks against both teams as we showed the required spirit and some neat passing. Adebayor was once again outstanding and managed to come away with the ball even when surrounded by blue shirts. A sweeping Arsenal move saw Van Persie hit the side netting from a narrow angle. Gael to Robin, almost. Cole by the way was booed from the off and it remained that way for the full ninety.
A thirty-yard free kick from Van Persie went into their wall. Two successive corners to Arsenal as we took the game to them. Long ball to Shevchenko but Lehmann takes. Senderos obstructed Drogba and he moaned at the lino. Djourou who was great throughout headed the free kick clear. A storming run by Adebayor. ‘One team in London' rang out from the Gooners as Jens took a high cross from Ballack. Great shimmy and shot from Adebayor. Jens took a shot from Shevchenko. Ballack with a fine shot just wide of the post, and then they had a shot that hit the post from Lumphard. But this not being November meant our luck had changed. Besides you might as well hit the corner flag as the post. Drogba wellied one over to the tune of ‘You're just a small club in London'.
Arsenal were carving them up and the Chavs countered with their long ball ploy. A Shevchenko back heel failed miserably. Eboue to Fabregas to van Persie with a shot wide. We were giving it all and matching them well in most departments, except the fans where it seemed to me that we were beating them hands down for volume. Their number three hacked down Hleb and a shouting match come scrum followed with Maureen Yo clearly three yards onto the pitch, which is a red card offence unless you are the home manager. Someone was booked. It should have been Cole but may have been Drogba for excessive use of the lip. A Drogba dive. ‘Cashley Cole is a ….' ‘One greedy bar steward, there's only one greedy bar steward' Eboue v Shevchenko for what looked a corner but we got a goal kick. Van Persie with another fine turn and shot. Great tackle by Clichy on Shevchenko. Eboue was limping, Drogba was still diving and the Gooners were in rampant vocal mode, this time with 'You're only here for the money, you're only here for the money' ‘We love you Arsenal we do'. A cross was missed altogether by Drogba and so Essien shot but missed the target. Hleb and Eboue won a corner at the other end. There was a Van Persie cross that Flamini headed well over. ‘Red Army'
Eboue overdid it but Djourou stopped Drogba for a corner. Next thing we knew Cesc was clearing the ball off of our line. ‘Arsene Wenger's Red army' as Drogba moaned about another offside call. Lumphard hung onto Eboue and was greeted with the serenade of ‘You fat bar steward'. Jens and Shevchenko collided in mid-air just before the 2 minutes of added time. Shevchenko caught offside and it was Maureen Yo's turn to moan. No change there then. It had been a fine first half from the Arsenal in a game that could clearly go any which way.
Half time – goal less so far and time to catch our breath.
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Yet another Adebayor run which set up Cesc for a shot which went to the keeper. Flamini with a shot wide. Shevchenko with a naff shot. Both Jens and Drogba engaging in a shoving and over acting match that might have seen some red cards followed a Drogba dive against Senderos. Jens was well on his way to completing his ambition to be booed at every ground in the Premiership. Both got yellow cards it seemed after much rabbiting by Alan Wiley and both linos getting involved. Maureen decided to throw in the kitchen sink as Robben and Wright-Phillips replaced Geremi and Shevchenko. Chelsea attacking for once, there's a novelty.
Adebayor did brilliantly on our right and Senderos did well at the back. Jens was then called to save the day in a mad scramble that came about thanks to a poor ball played by Philippe. Jens then saved at Drogba's feet. Drogba and Robben combined but Drogba shot wide as we remained under extreme pressure from the home team. Robben had a turn at shooting wide. Van Persie to Fabregas who nearly got there. Van Persie nearly got in as the match continued to ebb and flow. A free kick to Chavski was followed by a fast break from Eboue. It was still end to end as Hleb down our right crossed for Flamini to power home a drive that just beat the diving Hilario. 0-1 to the Arsenal and totally pandemonium in the Arsenal end as we celebrated deliriously.
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So there was four minutes of added time which were enough time for Essien to hit the underside of the bar and see the ball stay out. There was still time for Jens to save an overhead effort from someone and for Lumphard to hit the woodwork. But this wasn't November, this was December and we'd done enough to deserve the point we came away with. It must have been a fabulous match for the neutrals and I bet that there were a few beers spilt in Manchester and Surrey on the day.
On an altogether more depressing note, and one I can hardly avoid, can anyone explain to me quite why political correctness gone nauseatingly mad has replaced good old terrace humour? When it is clearly easier to smuggle drugs or lethal weapons into our country than it is to take an innocuous inflatable mobile phone into a football ground it seems to me that the authorities priorities have clearly gone right out the window. But then I've never had much respect for the extremes of political correctness or the people who play politics so I'll just leave it there. What I will say is that Cashley did very well out of our Club and although I still think that he's still a fine player that doesn't mean I have to show the money grubbing wannabe any regard what-so-ever. And so like numerous others I didn't.
If there is anyone at our Club, or anywhere else, who doesn't understand why a large number of Arsenal fans detest Cashley then for their benefit alone I will simply repeat what his ghost writer scribbled on his behalf. "When I heard Jonathon repeat the figure of £55,000 (that's a mere £2,860,000 a year by the way) I nearly swerved off the road. ‘He's taking the piss' I yelled down the phone. I was trembling with anger". This drivel from Cashley was what was inscribed on the Cashley bank notes and could surely only be deemed offensive to Arsenal fans.
So to summarise. Chelsea are a good, extremely expensive, physically strong, mature team that have been purchased with bad money. Their most effective players are dependable hard men who also play a bit of simple football whilst failing to overly excite. We have a shoestring budget in comparison and some highly promising youngsters but this game clearly showed that our youngsters have the will, spirit and enthusiasm that is well able to match the Chavs seasoned moaners. I didn't mention Gilberto in the report but he was immense today. A proper captain's performance.