Bolton Wanderers 2 Arsenal 0: Is December the new November?

Faye tackles Freddie

As a travelling Gooner you pay through the nose for a ticket because we are an ‘A’ list team, but we are still greeted with a scabby breezeblocks interior complete with disgusting overflowing bogs and no loo paper – would that be tolerated at Drury Lane London or the OctagonTheatre Bolton? Certainly not so sort it out Bolton. The queues for food and drink were equally inadequate – has no one figured that even a couple more staff would have resulted in loads more sales? I imagine we were not alone in going without a drink in the ground because the ridiculously long wait for service just didn’t warrant it. Bolton’s programme doesn’t list a stadium manager so maybe they should invest in one.

The Reebok is a no smoking area pitch side, so what did they do before kick-off? Right, they let off a whole load of fireworks that produced a thick haze which for a while reminded me of the foggy London town of my youth. The bookies in the ground offered Henry at 7/2 and Van Persie at 9/2 to score the first goal. After about one minute of play however it was blindingly obvious, and entirely predictable, that even an odds-on bet on Bolton to score the first goal with a header could well have paid for the 400 mile round trip.

Bolton were, as ever, predictable, they were looking to batter Lehmann, they were shoving players around when the inevitable high balls ball came, every throw in the last third was a long one, and diving for three kicks by Diouf and Stelios was the order of the day. We all knew this was going to happen, we also knew that Bolton would get eleven players behind the ball whenever we gained possession. We all knew that any player looking to break at speed would be taken out. We knew that those same players would be blocked off the ball when making a run. We knew all of this and yet we did feck all about it. Bolton bossed the game from the start. Although it certainly wasn’t football as we understand it, it was effective and it worked well against an away team who didn’t have the will to fight and quite often couldn’t be arsed.

Well that’s not entirely true. To start with Freddie had a ding-dong battle with Stelios and Gardner and after being upended no end of times took the law into his own hands and took the full back. Lauren at times seemed to be defending on his own and was quite prepared to match Bolton on their own physical terms. Lehmann knowing full well that he would be fouled at every set play made a meal of a late boot left in by Davies when out to collect a ball and was subsequently booed every time he touched the ball, just as he was last season.

Jens clears yet another aerial ball

Elsewhere Henry did his best but got increasingly frustrated and pissed off as the game progressed, which is fair enough unless you happen to be the captain. In which case you should be exhorting the troops to make greater effort rather than shrugging your shoulders and moping about as he was by the end of the game. Titi’s body language by the end of the match said it all. He had tried however and he’d even managed a superb piece of defending in the first half when an attack broke down. That said he was as guilty as anyone else before the break in giving the ball away cheaply. He’d also hit the post when the score was 1-0 and again after the break with a couple of tasty shots. The first rebounded to Van Persie who miss-hit a half chance. The second saw Pires spurn a golden opportunity which was either pure crap on his part or a great save – my impression was that he failed to react quick enough or with the necessary eagerness to slam it home, but I haven’t seen any TV replays because I’m not a masochist and because I want to erase this match from my memory as soon as possible.

Robin did find the net when he latched onto a ball from Henry, the ‘goal’ was disallowed for a foul by Thierry and that looked harsh from our position which admittedly was at the far end of the ground. Our midfield went missing today, it needed fighters committed to the cause and men who were prepared to get stuck in, but Flamini didn’t even make the bench and Parlour has long gone.

Bolton’s first goal came about initially because a stupid throw out by Jens wasn’t controlled by Pascal, chucking a ball at Pascal in such a manner was dumb and I don’t blame Cygan because it was a poor ball. After some determined play, by Bolton, an unmarked player at the far post had time to lob up a dolly of a header, which Faye headed home while Cesc, his alleged marker, remained firmly rooted to the ground. Quite why our shortest player was marking Abdoulaye Faye in aerial combat I have no idea, although combat is the wrong word because this was a freebie header generously donated for a 1-0 lead.

The second goal came about due to a cock-up by Gilberto who was theoretically shielding the ball but was in practice farting about with a back-heel in a dangerous area. Davies said thank you very much, took the ball off him near the corner flag and passed it unopposed to the waiting Stelios who gleefully slotted home giving Lehmann no chance.

Bolton were giving us a battering when they went ahead and when they scored the second, so there can be no complaints about the justice of the goals, just the sloppy way that they were surrendered. It could have been more that two if Lehmann hadn’t made a full length save from Nolan and palmed away a hooked effort by Faye in the first half.

After the break Arsenal put some effort into the game for a while. But just as in the first half our breaking football was slowed, seemingly in order to allow the white shirts to retreat and watch us pass the ball ineffectively backwards and forwards across the edge of the penalty area while resolutely refusing to shoot.

Toure is challenged by Nolan

Le Boss also failed miserably with his substitutions; both Lauren and Van Persie were at least up for it but were taken off. Other than Titi, Robin was the only player prepared to shoot, whereas Pires was totally non-existent to all intents and purpose but stayed on the field to no effect whatsoever. Freddie was also fading rapidly and seemingly losing interest but stayed on. Cesc was subbed, fair does, we tend to forget that such an accomplished star is still so very young and still learning. The arrival of Bergkamp merely reduced our heading ability and added nothing in the way of speed. Reyes arrival changed nothing and we might as well have played with ten men. Eboue did his best and still showed much promise but didn’t alter our game plan, if indeed we had one. We’d long since lost the game and the plot at this point, so why not go for three at the back and throw in the kitchen sink. Or why not chuck Ralph into midfield to mix it up or sling Kolo up front to batter them. Anything other than the predictable would have been worth a try surely.

Le Boss said, "It was a tentative and frail performance from us". I say it was a piss poor performance because we lacked ‘bottle’ as we always do at the Reebok and team selection played it’s part in that. Le boss also said, "We didn't create enough chances". I say maybe that’s because we fanny with it instead of having the odd shot, so why take Van Persie off? He also said "It is a setback for us as it was a poor performance after some good results." I say it was an absolutely awful performance unworthy of the Club and an insult to all those who wasted a day travelling up and down the country.

Arsenal’s Man of the match was a Gooner sitting in front of us by the name of Alex Laidman, a regular away fan, who put ten times as much effort into his support for the team than many of the overpaid failures on the pitch. He was still giving it full wellie when those of us around him had long since seen the writing on the wall and were taking our body language cues from the captain.