Best example of guile in the week just gone has got to be Rafael Benitez's continued use of the Crouching Tiger to lull opponents into a false sense of security. First victim was Jose Mourinho, whose tactics were sufficiently thrown out by the effort to nullify this phantom menace in his Champions League clash with the rival Iberian that the inevitable stalemate scoreline saw Chelsea finish second in their group to Liverpool. Only £450m for second place - got a few spare kopeks, anyone, to see if we can do better next time? Then there was Steve McLaren, who was also kidded into downshifting to cope with Crouch only for Fernando Morientes to pop up and remind us just why it was that both Monaco and Real Madrid were reluctant to be deprived of his services. Benitez, considering the material and budget with which he's had to work, is a magician of a coach to have achieved as much as he has, so it is in fact a complete travesty to have seen a gurning Sven presenting the Chelsea manager with the Coach of the Year award just now instead. Did the BBC have a stipulation that you had to be there in person to collect your award other than for the biggest prize of the night? I can think of no other reason than that to have denied the accolade to the manager who was at the time on a plane to the FIFA world club championships in Japan as a result of beating Mourniho himself.
Numbers and karma came together this week in Manchester United's must-at-least-draw match in Portugal, the outcome of which was crucial to their progress in the Champions League, or indeed in Europe generally. Karma was served its due as Benfica came from behind to win and thereby – in combination with the other result in the group – to put Man U out of Europe before Christmas for the first time in a decade, Eusebio finally triumphing over his personal nemesis, the ghost of George Best, who had clearly exhausted his influence from beyond the grave a couple of weekends back. The numbers game then began, as the financial consequences of Sir Alex and Man U being eliminated from European competition earlier in the season than both Sam Allardyce's Bolton and former Old Trafford bag carrier McLaren's Middlesbrough began to sink in. For this is not only the first season for a decade that United have failed to reach the knockout stages, it is of course also the first season that it has had to operate under the constraints of leveraged buy out finance provided by yield-hungry hedge funds. One wonders if Sir Alex will start tapping his watch if the necessary majority lender consents to the waivers required to allow him to sign new players in January are not forthcoming within 90 minutes?
Of course, the main footballing news of the week was the world cup draw for next summer's feast of football. Despite a shamefully short glimpse of Heidi Klum fondling the balls (which was apparently edited out altogether of the Iranian version of the broadcast with tape-delay technology), English viewers of the draw ceremony can only have been delighted with the outcome for the national team in terms of the group stage (and which was indeed only slightly less good than that shown here, the Swedes notwithstanding. But of course, looking a little further down the wallcharts given out with this weekend's papers, you might just find there is the slightly worrying matter of a 50/50 chance of meeting host nation Germany in the first knockout game! Do you think Sven will be practicing penalties this time round, and will Beckham check the pitch before taking one?