I wouldn't be surprised to learn that our back four spent most of the second half discussing holiday plans ("So you fancy Milan or Barcelona this summer then William), our midfield were involved in a particularly intricate game of Ludo, while, after making an early exit, Julio no doubt headed to the bike sheds to see if he might have more luck scoring there.
Fortunately the school bully come out swinging random punches, Simon Davies scored and we finally put the appallingly lacklustre Fulham in their place.
Jens Lehmann - 5 - Rumours of his departure have been as greatly exaggerated as those that he shouted "Schnell, schnell kartoffellkopft" as he rushed madly from his line to gift Fulham their equaliser. Made a good save from Brown soon after at least.
Emmanuel Eboue - 5 - Did nothing really annoying and was actually harshly booked. Did little else of note though.
Kolo Toure - 5 - Hardly tested but there were further signs that our two centre backs lack the strength in the air to cope with the rigours of the premiership. Mind you, facing an aerial bombardment with a mad German in your ear all game must be disconcerting.
William Gallas - 5 - As above - there was even a few gallops forward that suggested he really can be bothered. Wonder if he'll be fired up next week.
Gael Clichy - 8 - Maintained his standards when all around dropped below. If he could add being a mouthy, petulant spoilt brat who spends half the time trying to get other players sent off if would be as if Ashley Cole had never gone away.
Alex Hleb - 5 - Caught up in the general malaise but woke up long enough to win a penalty. Should have just let him shoot, Moritz.
Cesc Fabregas - 7 - Cesc's favourite Eurovision entry was Bardo's One Step Further despite it finishing seventh in the contest five years before he was born. Well - is there really anything left to say about him.
Gilberto Silva - 6 - As he slowly walked from the centre circle after we were awarded the penalty he was like a man offering around the grappa after dinner. You know you are going to end up drinking it but you offer it to everyone else first. Still scored with his usual style. GILBERTO FOR CAPTAIN.
Abou Diaby - 5 - Until I saw the match again on Sky, I actually forgot he had played - must be getting bored on the left.
Julio Baptista - 5 - Two identical situations - a player picks up the ball near the halfway line and heads towards goal. Adebayor makes a run, the player tries to pick him out but a defender does his job well and intercepts the pass. This happened on Sunday - when the player was Cesc, the reaction of the crowd was one of sympathy, when it was Baptista it was groans all round. Scoring with practically his first touch did not earn him a second's respite from his critics. Strangely, he is not happy at Arsenal. The Beast is human after all, it seems.
Emmanuel Adebayor - 7 - Tremendous work-rate again and added a well-taken goal to his assist for Baptista's goal.
Subs
Denilson - 5 - Did all right, I suppose.